Easy Ways to Take Control of YOU!

As a work at home mom, with a husband, two kids, and two small businesses, I get asked all the time, "How do you do it? How do you keep the house clean, food on the table, businesses running, a everyone happy? Do you have a full time nanny or babysitter?" No, though there are times I wish I did!
Truth? I DON'T do it all, hardly ever. I do A LOT though. I'm constantly working, and after awhile, if I don't get it break it can really take a toll on me. If you're in a similar situation, I'm sure you can understand.
So what do I do when I start to feel overwhelmed by not being able to do it all? Or when I feel like I need just five minutes to myself before I crack?
I just tell myself to make a change. Change my attitude, change my thoughts...you get the idea!
Along with the mental pep talk, here are some of my tried and true ways to take back control of that overwhelmed feeling.

Take Care of Myself, Too! This is the NUMBER ONE thing to do! If I'm going to be on top of my game for my husband and kids, I need to take care of myself. So I make it a point to exercise at least 4x's per week, whether it's Zumba, an Insanity class, or just doing my own workout at home. If I go more than two days without exercise, I feel jumpy. I also really strive to eat right and keep my nutrition intake up. For the past 15 months I've been very consistent in taking my daily multivitamins. I've seen a great improvement in my overall energy and I have been sick only once, which is great since I'm chasing two active boys all day!


Cut Myself Some Slack I'm not perfect. No one is. It's hard being a grown up with kids. Heck, sometimes it's just hard BEING! In today's world of social media and everyone posting only the good things about their lives, it's easy to get caught up in that and think you're not doing enough. You are. I am. And I have to remind myself of it almost daily. No, the kitchen isn't always sparkling. In fact, it's pretty darn messy right now. No, the laundry isn't put away yet. No, my kids aren't perfectly behaved all the time. Sometimes money is tight. But that's ok...I am doing the best I can and that's enough!

Get the To Do List Under Control I'm a list maker, but when I write out a list of 20 things to accomplish in one day, I get too overwhelmed and end up getting nothing done! I have my basic to do's that are what keep my home livable at any given time. If I can accomplish that list everyday, then I feel great. Special projects are ongoing and I just have to work on them when (and if) I can during the week.  I have a small planner that I keep next to my laptop in the kitchen. It's easy for me to jot stuff down as I think of it or check off my list.

Schedules, Schedules, Schedules Working at home is rewarding, but challenging. Until recently, I would do work throughout the day, but didn't really have a chance to focus on what I was doing. At the end of the day, I felt like I hadn't done much work at all. So I made a change and have declared the boys quiet time to be my work only time. Ya'll, it has HELPED so much! I'm able to focus more and I get a lot more done than I used to. Having a set work schedule, mine is 1pm-2:30pm, will help you feel in control of your day!

Those are my top must-do's for getting that in control feeling back. I hope this helps you if you're feeling a little off! Let me know what you think!
I'd love to connect with you in my Facebook community!

Are Our Kids Overscheduled?

Source

I love to read our metroplex-based magazine called Ft. Worth Child. They have great activity ideas for families and fantastic articles on parenting.

A recent issue had an article whose title caught my eye, Fear and Overscheduling.

I took notice of it because just a few days before, I'd been chatting wtih my husband about how hard it has been to get playdates with some of my friends and their kids. I have a few friends who I literally have to get on their calendars several weeks in advance just so our boys can play together for an hour!

What do you think about that?

For me, it's totally overwhelming. Don't get me wrong, I love a good playdate every  now and then, I love to get out of the house and go somewhere, but I just can't do it for several hours every day.

It's just too exhausting and I've found my boys get cranky and unruly when we're too busy.

I don't like to be busy for the sake of being busy. I'm a homebody for the most part. My boys seem to be ok staying home and playing a lot.

But when I talk to some of my friends and try to schedule playdates, I start doubting myself and thinking my boys don't have enough going on. So I sat down and wrote out our weekly schedule, and you know what? It looks pretty good to me!

• Monday - Oldest at gymnastics or art class for 45 min, then we either go to the park or play at home. Usually no other 'scheduled' activities.
• Tuesday - Oldest at preschool half day; youngest and I hang out and play at home or go to the park. After preschool, we hang out at home.
• Wednesday - Every other week is MOPS for about 3 hours. This wears the boys out for the day. 3 hours of non-stop playing does little boys in!
• Thursday - Oldest at preschool half day; youngest and I hang out and play at home or go to the park. After preschool, we hang out at home.
• Friday - No scheduled activities. Maybe a playdate every now and then, but mostly play time at home.

With all of the things that are available to kids now, with all of the social media influences that we're bombarded with on a daily basis, it's easy for me to get way too caught up in the mommy guilt of not doing enough for my kids.

After reading that article, I started feeling better about the activity choices I've made for my kids. They have an entire lifetime of schedules, having to be somewhere at a certain time, organized sports, school, homework, college, a professional career.

Right now, I just want them to enjoy being carefree and not scheduled. I'm okay with that. What's more important, they're ok with that. Win-win.

Expressing Gratitude With Kids

Psalm 107:1 Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever.

I don't know about you, but I think putting pen (or in this posts' case, crayon) to paper is a lost art. I love to write and journal, but admittedly, I don't do it on paper near enough. I'm slowly starting to get back in the habit of it though. And there's nothing more I enjoy than receiving a handwritten piece of mail, like a thank you note or a card.

Our four year old is learning how to write all his letters at school, and he's gotten so good at it. He can spell his name, his brother's name, mommy, and daddy. (I'm bragging on him a bit!) I love watching him put his pencil or crayon on paper and form letters with hand.

In our home, we want to teach our boys to show thanks and gratitude for what might seem like the smallest thing (Christmas presents are not small, by the way). We've noticed the our oldest is picking up on some of the grumbling we do about our finances, the constant mess of our house, or frustrations about other things. Every now and then we'll hear him repeat some of the things we've said.

Not good. Definitely not what we want him to pick up on! And you know what? We have a ton of things to be grateful and thankful for. We shouldn't be grumping around like our lives are so bad.

So we've decided to change things around and start expressing how thankful and grateful we are for...well really everything!

Now that he's gaining the ability to write more everyday, we've decided to start adding to that skill by teaching him to show gratitude through thank you notes. 

We've been slow about getting them done (mommy's fault), but we are working on sending out thank you's for his Christmas gifts. Maybe we'll get them done by February at this rate.

Here he is helping to write his first thank you note to his cousin. Of course, all he can do right now is write her name and his name and I pen the letter. But the point of this exercise is to talk about how we show our gratitude and thanks to others by writing notes to them!

By doing this simple exercise of writing thank you notes, we're really hitting a lot of important areas in our boys' life:

• He's learning how to show gratitude
• He's learning scripture
• He's learning how to improve his writing skills
• He's getting that all-important one on one time with mommy (or daddy)

This is such an easy, important task for us to instill in him.

Psalm 107:1 Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever.

How have you taught your kids to show gratitude? I'd love to know!

Being a Mom in Today's World

Being a mom in today's world is tough. So is being a dad. And a kid. Heck, it's just tough being!

I don't know what it was like back when my own mom or even my grandma was a younger mom; I imagine they had their own challenges of outside influences, experts, friends, family, etc.

I really can't make comparisons, but today's world is so full of the Internet and bloggers and social media and experts and all of these outside influences that it just gets so overwhelming!

As moms, we want to be perfect. Have the perfect marriage, the perfect kids who are well-mannered, excel at school and sports, have the perfectly clean home, drive the perfect car to the perfect preschool.

We want the perfect marriage with the perfect husband. Perfect kids who are well-mannered and excel at everything. We aspire to drive the perfect car to the perfect preschool, then home to the perfect home on the perfect street in the perfect neighborhood. All the while having your clothes and makeup just perfect.

Because, as we all know, all the other moms are keeping tabs on us and tsk-ing when we're not perfect.

What I just wrote up there? Yeah, that pretty much sums me up in a long run-on sentence. I struggle with perfectionism on a daily basis. And I fail to be perfect all.day.long.

It's a nasty, nasty battle to be in with myself.

I've been a mom for almost four years and just this past summer, I've finally started to let go of that myth of perfectionism. I'm not letting myself feel guilty when I am just human to my family and not this make believe supermom who looks great, feels great, can blog about her beautiful home, while homeschooling her kids, and runs an at home business, but still finds time to work out, make dinner, have coffee with friends, and shower on a regular basis.

Okay, I'm not letting myself feel as guilty. It's a struggle for me, but I'm moving forward.

My house frequently looks like a bomb went off, our love seat has been the kids' closet for about 6 months, the bathrooms aren't cleaned on a regular basis, and I can't manage my time to save my life.

I've started going back to the basics. I'm relying on God to get me through those times when I start feeling the need to be supermom. Every morning before I get out of bed, I take just a few moments to thank Him for a new day, and ask for grace and patience with myself. He's been my go-to, my rock, my guidance. As He should be.

Which leads me to this article I read on our local news: Moms Popping Pills to Be Better Parents. Read it if you get a chance. For me, it's a sad story. But a very true story to so many moms out there. It's a true story to moms I know personally. 

Relying on drugs (prescription or otherwise) is not the way to deal with life. It's not worth it. Common sense says so. The effects of it later on can be so bad.  Using drugs to become supermom is just another way to check out of reality. Sure, you may be able to keep a clean home, never forget a kids water bottle or diaper, but are you really there for your family? There are other ways to cope with the stress besides Xanax and Adderall.

Moms (and dads, too!) give yourself a break. You don't need to be perfect. You don't need that perfectly clean home or perfectly clean kids. Remember what is important in this life. Your faith, your precious husband, and those precious kids. They all need you healthy, mentally, physically, and emotionally!

So tell me, do you struggle with being a mom in today's world? How do you cope?

Food Dyes are EVERYWHERE

So after my post about being fooled by labels, I've been scouring the house looking for other items that contain dyes. Holy moly, they are everywhere. And I mean everywhere.

I continue to be shocked and annoyed at all the things dyes are in. Did you know that there is dye in your pre-made pie crusts in the grocery store? Yep, of all places. I guess it's to make it that pretty 'crust' color? Whatever.

You know what else? I'm starting to wonder if our oldest boy is sensitive to these dyes. (I can just see the group sigh and eye roll by certain members of my family.)

I'm not a doctor, and I'm not trying to diagnose him with any type of disorder/issue/problem. I'm also certainly not trying to get out of parenting him because sometimes it's really hard and I want to categorize him and excuse his behavior. Nope, not at all.

Our oldest is active, active, active. He's resistant to sleep. He can be whiny. He can be mean. He can drive me nuts.

Now, let me say this. He's an almost four year old boy. I fully understand that those traits are normal for a child this young. And if he didn't display those behaviors at times, I'd be worried.

However, we've noticed that after he eats certain things, like processed foods, or a lot of sugar, these 'traits' seem to come out more.

For example, recently after he had a smoothie made from yogurt with Red 40 and 15g of sugar he was off the wall. I know my child. It wasn't late in the day. He was rested. He just started acting like a crazy person. Hitting his brother (unprovoked), slamming toys into the wall, cabinets, floor. Jumping off his bookshelves. Not his normal active behavior.

So we are embarking on a mission to get rid of the dyes in their foods. Because, why not? We are really just concerned for the health and well-being of our kids. We don't see any reason for giving them food, drinks, or anything else that has unnecessary ingredients in them. Because, besides color, what is the point? Our food and baby wash really just doesn't need to be fun, exciting, and colorful all the time, does it?


Check out this interesting chart from the Feingold Association.  For me personally, it's gross to see all the additive, preservatives, and dyes that are added to our foods.

What the child growing up in the U.S. in the 1940's got:	What the child growing up in the U.S. today gets:
White toothpaste	Multi-colored toothpaste, perhaps with sparkles
Oatmeal	Sea Treasures Instant Oatmeal (turns milk blue)
Corn flakes	Fruity Pebbles
Toast & butter, jam	Pop Tarts
Cocoa made with natural ingredients	Cocoa made with artificial flavoring, & some with dyes.
Whipped cream	Cool Whip
No vitamins (or perhaps cod liver oil)	Flintstone vitamins with coloring & flavoring
White powder or bad-tasting liquid medicine	Bright pink, bubble-gum flavored chewable or liquid medicine
Sample school lunch: Meat loaf, freshly made mashed potatoes, vegetable. Milk, cupcake made from scratch.	Sample school lunch: Highly processed foods loaded with synthetic additives, no vegetable. Chocolate milk with artificial flavor.
Sample school beverage: Water from the drinking fountain	Sample school beverage: Soft drink with artificial color, flavor, caffeine, aspartame, etc.
Candy in the classroom a few times a year at class parties.	Candy (with synthetic additives) given frequently.

Let me say this: I grew up on a lot of these foods. Heck, sometimes we even buy them. I do love some Fruity Pebbles every now and then. But I know that if I eat too much of those kinds of foods, I feel gross. I feel bloated, my stomach hurts, I get a little cranky. I'm not talking about gorging myself on them. But if I have Fruity Pebbles for breakfast, a soda at lunch, and then maybe a processed dessert in the evening, then I go to bed miserable.

So why wouldn't if affect my kids, too?

Here's another very interesting article from Allergy Kids about one mom's experience with food dyes.

What do you think about all this? Do you think sensitivity/allergies to food dyes is a bunch of junk? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

A Must Read for Mommies (In My Opinion!)

I've been reading Lil Blue Boo's blog for, gosh, 4 years and love her. She's the type of person that you'd want for your BFF. She's funny, creative, compassionate, and is in remission from cancer. Anyway, if you're a mom of young kids these days, you might feel the UNBELIEVABLE pressure to parent 'right.' 

• To spank or not to spank? 
• Sugar or not?
• Organic or not?
• Should you let your kid eat out of plastic for fear of BPA poisoning?
• Are you condemning your kid to a lifetime of being sick because you don't nurse for two years?
• Make sure your kid is in every activity known to mankind so their 'busy' or just keep them at home for a few days a week?
• Are you a bad parent because you put your kid in Mother's Day Out or are you a bad parent because you don't?

The list goes on and on and on...

It's tiring.

And stressful.

It makes parents question every.single.thing instead of going with their instincts on what works for their kid and their family.

Trust me. I've been there. I AM there!

Enough said.

Enjoy the read! Why I'll Never Tell You How to Parent